Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Is spinach easy to grow?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

Marathon isn’t going to be another Concord, Sony insists - polygon.com

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What can I do after 18 cops raided my home, without a warrant, seeking a person who didn't live there and wasn't there, and also went through all of my stuff? The person wasn't on the lease, and they didn't see him enter.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fakery

When North Koreans visit other countries for the Olympics, what stops some of them fleeing away into that host country?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is it wise to choose your family over your honor?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Do people really never face any hidden costs or surprises with surgeries in countries with single-payer healthcare like the NHS?

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

Were there any friendly fire incidents involving American submarines, aircraft carriers, or battleships during World War II or World War I?

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising